31.7.02
Several things:
-Busch Gardens trip with Jenny and Smith tomorrow. Hooray for the summer pass.
-Web site updated. I added 2 new haiku and a new section
-My car is trying to kill me. I was in Cary this afternoon and my brakes totally gave out on me. I had to push the pedal all the way to the floor to get even a little stopping force. I carefully limped home, using the parking brake and pissing off the people behind me. Freakin car. After all I've done for it.
-Interactive fun! I need some new songs to listen to. You can see the ones I already have by checking my file library on AIM (screen name: agntkoala), and then suggest good songs to me in the comments section.
29.7.02
My oral surgery has turned me into an 80-year-old woman. I sleep a lot, take fistfulls of pills, eat really soft foods, and cross-stitch. Yes, I cross-stitch. It's easy, it takes my mind off the throbbing pain in my jaw, and I can do it without getting up from the couch.
In a dramatic turn of events, today I triumphed over adversity and ate some Lean Cuisine. It was tasty. Afterwards I rinsed off my surgeried areas with a little syringe-looking thing. I am such a badass.
25.7.02
My horoscope today says for me to be up-to-date on fashion news, as I'll be interviewed later today. I'm sure that would go really well.
Int. My Couch. Day. Reporter is smartly dressed, I am wearing pajama bottoms and a T-shirt Reporter: Ms. Burney, what do you feel about Ralph Lauren's fall line?
Me: (drooling)
Reporter: I see. So you don't think it's too risque'?
Me: (moaning) Jello.
And now my time has come. My wisdom teeth are to be no more. Farewell.
23.7.02
Yesterday I spent 3 hours washing, waxing, vacuuming, Windexing, buffing, wiping, Armor-All-ing, and Goo Gone-ing my car. Holy crap was it hot in my garage. I was sweating like Marlon Brando. My car looks sexy though.
My away message a few weeks ago seems to have spawned several new Joey addicts. That makes me happy. I think he should sell t-shirts from his site with Joey catch-phrases on them, or ones that say "I read the online journal of a gay Canadian." I would totally wear that.
It's errands day. After it stops raining, I have to go to Jiffy Lube, the library, the grocery store, Advance Auto Parts, and maybe Wal-Mart and Blockbuster. I have lots to do before my impending wisdom teeth extraction. Come Thursday morning, in the words of my oral surgeon, they're going to "peel back the flesh of your gums on the top teeth, and just pull those right out. But the bottom ones are growing in sideways, so we're going to have to open up your gums, crack that bone, then cut off the crown of the tooth, cut that into little pieces, and get them out. Then we can pull the roots out of the gap we just made." I think I will be taking the general anesthesia, thank you very much.
-I finally got my car back. It looks fantastic, except for the inside. I even have a new Honda H on the front. Joy
-JOEY BROKE UP WITH DARREN! I'm very sad, since Darren totally didn't deserve being treated that way. He moved all the way to Vancouver from America for Joey and Joey broke his heart. He's a flightly little man. But it's not like it was a surprise or anything, I knew that it wouldn't last through the summer. Before you make any snide remarks, yes, it is also sad that I live vicariously through a gay Canadian man.
I STILL don't have my car back! It's been in the paint shop since Tuesday, and we TOLD the man who runs the place we'd pick it up today, but he closed 45 MINUTES EARLY!!!!! Why should I have to be without my car for another three days just because he can't wait until noon for lunch? I am SO MAD. Never take your car to Metro Paint and Collision on S. Saunders St.
**Update** This piece of crap just got its 300th unique hit. wo0t!
17.7.02
I had a great dream the other night. It was really scary, but it turned out good in the end. It's too long and strange to go into here but if you've got 6 hours to spare I can tell you about it over IM. Speaking of IM, I'm trying out a new screen name - agntkoala. Your input would be appreciated.
Today was Jordan Lake day, and we went to a different part of the lake that actually had water in it! Unlike the other place where the furthest we were allowed to go only came up to our waists. This place was like over my head deep. It was awesome. And before you ask, yes, I did get sunburned. Sigh.
Tomorrow is Busch Gardens day, finally. I plan to get some serious motion sickness, then when we get there I'll ride some roller coasters. Seriously, I get carsick easily.
Oh yeah, one more thing. Do yourself a favor and download "Mass Pike" by the Get Up Kids and "Angry Nerd Rock" by the Ataris. Good-ass songs (thanks Carlos)
Americans are strange. We have this incredible love of things, always have to have the newest gadgets or the coolest car. We also love to have money and make money and hoard money. And I have no problem with this, because I like stuff and money too. What I have a problem with is some of these same people express nothing but contempt for companies who are out to make a profit. It's a hideous double standard that has been exposed by these so-called accounting scandals - it's ok for you to make money, but when a corporation does it, they're "profiteering" and obviously doing something unethical and villianous. Nevermind that if they didn't make a profit, they wouldn't be able to pay their workers. Or pay themselves. Or make American's precious stuff. So in conclusion, shut up, fools, and let corporations continue to make money so they can put out quality products for you to buy.
P.S. Blogger hates me and this is taking an eternity to publish. Up yours, Blogger, you slut.
9.7.02
So I had the shock of a lifetime last night - it turns out that I actually have something approaching a life! Last night me, Jenny, Missy, and Jared played us some Putt-Putt. Jared and I tied for first place with 42 each, thus proving once and for all whose college is superior (ours). Then we got Cook Out milkshakes and played Hearts at Missy's. Then, social butterfly that I am, I went to see MIB 2 with my fruity valentine Adam. All in all a nice evening.
However--
The baseball union is talking strike again, and I am filled with rage. Are they not paid enough? Good Lord, they have more money than I'll ever see in my entire life, and they want profit sharing for tickets sold? For playing a GAME??? Granted they're good at what they do, but I think they're well compensated for their talent already.
7.7.02
OK guys, here's your chance to repay me for the nonstop hilarity and renewed faith in the human spirit that I bring to you, free of charge, whenever I'm not looking at porn on the internet.
Here's the thing. I like movies. Specifically, I like downloading movies so I don't have to pay for them. But there are some movies that I just can't find, and it's not for lack of trying. So if you happen to have any of these movies from the internet, please please oh God please let me get a copy from you.
-Fargo
-A Fish Called Wanda
-Election
-Stand By Me
-Out of Sight
-Keeping the Faith
-Contact
Send me an email (sburney@email.unc.edu) or IM me (no way I'm giving my IM name out. If you know it, cool.)
6.7.02
I've developed a severe phobia of wasps. They're so...creepy. The way they group together with others of their own kind, always ready to attack, never socializing outside the country club... Kidding. Not that kind of wasp. But it's really kind of pathetic the way I cower in fear every time I hear the buzzing drone that could either be a wasp, bee, or someone using a Weed-Eater down the street. Pavlov never included Ass-Wasp stimulus in his famous conditioned response experiments, but the searing pain and humiliation I felt quickly altered my reaction to wasps from one of indifference into fear and spastic attempts to flee. So good work, wasp, you proved psychology right. Dick.
In other news, I managed to secure 5 tickets to Thursday's Durham Bulls game, so me, Chun, Missy, Jenny, and Amanda will be chillin' like villians in the shaded terrace, watching the Bulls mercilessly pound some team from Canada. My prediction? Bulls 24, Canada -1, after being docked a run as a result of their Molson-fueled chicanery. Maybe that won't actually happen. I just like the word "chicanery." The Bulls are still going to win, though. Really. Canada sucks.
5.7.02
I am irritated by the fact that my comments don't seem to be working. Positively irritated. I am also extremely saddened that the Splendid Splinter, Ted Williams, passed away at the age of 83. He was probably the greatest hitter in Red Sox history if not baseball history, and the last player in baseball to have a .400 batting average. It's weird when you can shed a tear over someone you've never met, never seen play, and never even liked the team they played for. But Ted Williams was for me the last link to baseball like it used to be, before prima-donnas like Griffey Jr. and Derek Jeter fouled the sport with their greed. Teddy was a class act and fought to defend his country in not one but two wars, flew wingman for John Glenn, and brought a sense of integrity and dignity into everything he did. So yeah, I cried a little when I heard he died, because he was a great ballplayer and a model human being. So long, Ted.
1.7.02
Exhibit B in the case of God Hates Me: I got stung in the ass by a wasp this morning. I was out on my deck, quietly doing the crossword in the N&O when I noticed a wasp was getting a little too close to my person and I shooed it away. It became angry and returned to take its revenge on its sworn enemy, my ass. OK, maybe not the ass, but directly below the ass. My upper thigh swelled up like a balloon, creating an interesting effect I like to call "Small Mutant Third Ass-Cheek." But holy Christ did that hurt. I staggered around the house, crying, with my pajama pants around my knees and a baggie full of ice on my leg. Now that I think about it, that would have been really funny to watch. But at the time I was too distracted by the stabbing pain to think about the humor in the situation. I put some aloe with lidocaine on the sting and it helped a little, but it still hurts to walk. Further updates on the Ass-Wasp situation as it develops. In the meantime I'll be outside throwing styrofoam on the ground, spraying aerosol at the ozone layer, running my car in the driveway, and shouting at nature to go fuck itself.
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