30.9.02
Come back, comments! I didn't mean what I said!
OK, you know how dads always know "the back way" or "a great shortcut?" Well, my dad is not allowed to take them anymore. He always picks the most poorly paved and twisty roads that have ever been. I'm serious. Visigoths made better roads than these. One time I dropped a rock on some grass, and that was a better road than my dad's "alternate route." You want to talk about some carsick. Hoo buddy.
But let's get to the real reason why I'm posting. This evening I recieved a message from Sean saying "Burney as an avid fan of your blog and sense of humor that is drier than the little silica gel packs, I think we need to see more posts :-)." This reminded me of possibly the funniest thing that's ever happened in the backseat of a Ford Escort. I am sure Jenny and Amanda already know where I'm going with this story. It was a warm summer's morning as Jenny, Amanda, Sarah Chun, and I set off for Busch Gardens Williamsburg. 20 minutes into the trip Amanda started complaining about being bored, so I reach into my backpack and pull out the first thing I get my hands on, which happened to be my bottle of Excedrin (I always have one with me.) "Here, play with this," I said, and went back to doing the crossword puzzle. A few seconds later I hear "hcck! hcccccccccccck!" coming from the general direction of Amanda. You know those little canisters of silica gel they put in medicine bottles to keep it from getting all wet? The one that says "DO NOT EAT" on it? She tried to get it open by biting it and ended up with a mouthful of silica. She spent the next hour complaining about being bored AND having a disgusting taste in her mouth.
Just thought I'd share that amusing anecdote with the public, because as we all know, the stupidity of others is always highly entertaining.
Well, how's it going blog people? I have a few random things to say, but nothing really interesting or important. So.
I saw the cutest thing last Friday. It had rained all week, right? I mean, I was about to go build an ark. Anyway, we have a field on campus that has a low spot so it filled up with water. And I guess this confused the ducks from the nearby pond, because on Friday there were several stupid ducks swimming through the field. It was really kind of a happy sight.
I went to see my grandmother this weekend. Took all my laundry. Here is something you never want to hear your grandmother say: "Amanda, you have the fanciest underpants I ever saw!" Hmmm. Grandmothers are so weird. Mine ironed my sheets. I mean, really. What is the point? They're just going to be slept on. And she folds all my undies. It's too bad that I just stuff them all in a drawer. Oh well. She also sent me home with enough food to feed a smallish army. Chocolate pie, fried chicken, mashed potatoes, gravy, and biscuits. Screw you, cafeteria.
I have a bad habit of getting things several years after everyone else; jokes and clever things, I mean. I was in the car today thinking about Mad Libs (remember those things?) and I got it. It's like ad lib. Hee hee. Mad lib. Hee hee. I promise that I had not gotten that before. I just thought it was a funny name and went on my merry way. I am stupid.
Hey, I'm also pissed off. Some crap-for-brains asshat tore the Darwin fish off my car. I'm sorry if you don't agree with my opinions or if you're a fundamentalist asshole with no sense of humor, but that's no reason to fucking vandalize my car. I mean, what? Do you think Jesus is happy with you now? Is that what he wanted you to do? So now you get into heaven? I kind of doubt it. I'm mega-pissed. Some people are so fucking stupid it hurts.
I also found out today that my 1987 Ford Taurus is not a sports car. I found this out by taking a turn at 65 miles an hour and almost crashing spectacularly. Twice. Goddamn sedan family car
It's time to announce the winner of the Touched by an Anvil Biggest Asshole in the World award.
This year's winner.....
RANDY MOSS!
That's right, Randy "I only play when I want to" Moss. In the past few weeks he's had a screaming match with his quarterback, squirted a game official with a waterbottle (following an altercation of course), and "pushed" a traffic cop half a block WITH HIS CAR. Then he has the nerve to go on SportsCenter and CRY about his "pain." Such magnificent displays of assholery are virtually unrivaled by anyone who is not Ted Kennedy.
Randy will be receiving a very special plaque and a very special kick in his goddamn stupid head. Congratulations, you son of a bitch.
26.9.02
OK, I'm a dumbass. I've written out two posts and twice I've clicked a link not even realizing I'd lose what I wrote.
I think what I said was something like "I'm happy that the blog is almost at 1000 hits. I also am happy with the way things are going here, with Jenny and Amanda posting." The rest was probably not worth re-typing for a third time.
25.9.02
What is up with the US Postal Service? I swear, I need to get the new price of stamps tatooed to my forehead just to be able to remember it. Apparently the price went up in June. So I'm sorry Amanda, but your birthday card with a 34 cent stamp on it will not make it to you before your birthday. The card needs to have a "first class" stamp on it that will put me back an extra 3 cents. Blah.
So tonight has been the first time in a while I have gone to bed before 1:30AM. I went to bed at 12:45AM, only to have cold feet (I quickly fixed this with socks), then just plain not be able to sleep. Stupid school and stupid homework messing up my sleep schedule. I went to my movie theater today for a briefing on training the new kids. I apparently have a title and job position to add to my resume! I am the assistant to the Human Resources Manager at Crossroads 20. Or I am a HR director at C20. Or any other title I want to give myself. Training is a lot more work than I thought it would be. I thought I would just show up and let the kids follow my lead, but it is so much more than that. I have to bust out the training book and give them quizzes on what they read. Now I have to completely transform the promotional/uniform room into the new HR office...all by myself...in two weeks. But it's cool. I get all the free posters I want when I am cleaning the room out. Once I catalogue them I will start taking requests. But anyway, my normal bed time has come, and hopefully I will be able to get some sleep.
24.9.02
Ack!! Drama on Andy's blog!! To quote the great contemporary thinker Jenny, "Drama free is the way to be." It's clever, and it rhymes. What more are you looking for in your life's philosophy?
I'm currently procrastinating on reviewing my liberal indoctrination...I mean Anthropology readings for my test on Thursday. On top of which I have a quiz in Spanish. As well as correcting my Spanish paper (my thinking is good, my grammar is horrendous). All this must be done today and Wednesday, so I plan to become a crazed-mountain-Neo-Luddite*-hermit from now until then. If you see me on IMer, message me frantically and angrily and order me to get the hell back to work. I am also not ruling out the possibilty of letting one of you have a cattle prod to keep me "motivated."
Man, college is rough stuff. I'm so far behind it's not even funny. And I'm too lazy to catch up, but I'm just responsible enough to feel vaguely guilty that I won't. This is my internal battle that I fight every day when it's time to do work:
ME: OK, time for some homework. I'm really going to do it this time, I swear.
COLLEGE: Here is 156 pages of reading. And a paper. Due tomorrow.
ME: Fuck you, college. I'm going to go play Metal Gear Solid 2.
**interesting side note: today is the one-year anniversary of the time when my football team gave Florida State a 41-9 ass-whooping.
21.9.02
I've had a rather interesting development in the nature of my spam email lately. People used to just want to give me a credit card and let me pay to see naked ladies cavort with farm animals. But in the past couple of days, I've received no fewer than 8 emails from people who want me to increase the size of my penis 1 to 3 inches. Beg pardon? The last time I took a good look at my anatomy, one to three inches would be one to three inches too many. I am a girl. I don't need a bigger penis. I do just fine with no penis at all. Jeez.
And while I'm on the subject, I also don't need a mortgage, a low interest loan, refinancing, porn, or drugs. Please stop offering.
I got a 94 on my essay for Spanish 21! Oh yeah!!!!
Contribute your suggestions for short phrases to be included in the randomizer in the corner. Experience the joy of seeing your words on the internet. Impress your family and friends.
My stupid bitch badminton teacher made The List today. The List, of course, is The List of People Who Are in Big Fucking Trouble When the Revolution Comes. I drag myself out of bed at 7:30 am for this 8am badminton class, and when I get there some guy tells me that she called in sick, didn't you get the email? Do I look like I got the email? If I had gotten the zarking email I wouldn't be out of bed at eight o'clock in the fucking morning. I would be sleeping until 10:30. Her ass is grass.
Some things:
1. Sun computers are not sunny.
2. Thirteen and a half hours spent collectively in four different computer labs over a 48 hour period is enough to drive a person mad.
3. You never realize how much you love Windows (even if you have ME) until you are forced to use Linux or Sun's OS.
4. Java API classes should not be rewritten...EVER!!!
5. CD Players on Dell Linux computers are hostile.
6. CD-ROM drives on Sun Ultras don't open with the push of a button.
7. A Sun Blade has the biggest fucking monitor I have ever seen. (Is it a monitor or a 20" TV?)
8. Pressing "Control" on a Sun does not turn on the Caps Lock.
9. CSC 216 TA's are losers with too much free time on their hands.
10. Crispy M&M's can make a world of difference.
New page design. Leave opinions in the comments, eh? (Assuming they work.)
Also, my poor daddy mowed over a bee's nest and got stung on his legs a bunch of times. I hope he's ok. My mom had this to say on the subject:
LisaGeeB2: Yes, he is fine, just a little bit retarded.
You know how they say 'Be careful what you wish for, it might come true'? Did you ever notice that that wish never comes true anyway? What's the point?
I completely slept through my 9am class today. I have no idea why, I went to bed at like 12:30 and didn't wake up once. Until like 9:45 that is. So anyway I left my room at 11 and I won't be back there until like 8:30. I'm writing this from the Undergrad, since I have to be here at 4 to watch Ivan the Terrible for my Russian History class. My schedule for today looks a little something like this: Lunch, class, hour break, class, hour break, movie, dinner, meeting, then home. Busy busy busy.
Oh, and how's this for shitty? The university blocked Direct Connect and a bunch of other programs so when you try and download stuff it goes at about .5 k/s! So I'm having to learn other programs in order to keep myself supplied with my movie habit. It's a good thing programmers are smarter than the UNC administrators, because there sure are a lot of options out there.
It looks like the marching band isn't going to China in May. Tragic. But I guess it's really difficult to haul 10 sousaphones, loads of baritones, mellophones, guard equipment, and a drum line over the Pacific Ocean. Not to mention 290 college students and their handlers.
Do you want to hear something crazy? In the past fifty-three hours, I have spent 12 hours in class, 3 hours working out, and only four hours sleeping. Am I about to pass out from exhaustion? You better believe it. I haven't slept in about 30 hours. This rivals that first time we all came home from Spain. What was that, like 50-some hours? It was not cool.
Do you know what time it is? It's four-thirty. In the goddamn morning. And I'm awake. It's a cruel, cruel world.
It's the same as it was last night. 11:00 pm, I start to get drowsy. So I finish up what I'm doing, squeeze in a game of Nintendo and hit the sack around 1:00 am. Decide to lull myself to sleep with a book. Read til about 3:00 am when, boom!, I'm awake. Completely, totally, wide-ass awake. And it really makes no sense. Cause it's not like I spent the day lazing around and eating bonbons. I had to get up at 7:30 am for my 8 o'clock badminton class (yes, yes I am insane.) Played badminton, went to the gym, went to classes, made dinner, all sorts of busy junk and no nap. Why am I not passed out from exhaustion? I had four hours of sleep last night.
I'm also barely coherent, so excuse the banality of this blog. When I started writing this 40 minutes ago, it was going to be a great blog. The mother of all blogs. Then blogger.com crased my computer. So I started over, anticipating a good blog. Halfway through, my browser reloaded the page and my blog was lost. So I decided to write this on Word, hoping for just an adequate blog. Word crashed. I am not making this up. 40 minutes later I am on attempt #4, and I don't care if a hamster tap dancing on a keyboard could turn out a better blog.
Did I even introduce myself? I'm Amanda and and I know Jenny and Sarah. In fact, I go back further with Jenny than with any of you guys, thanks to Girl Scout Camp Graham. You might notice that my name on this thing is Amanda the Tator. This is a reference to the fact that I am one day going to be the Supreme Dictator of the World and rule your ass. It is not in any way a reference to potatoes. Supreme Dictator of the World, yes. Potatoes, no. You may be quizzed on this. This isn't just a whim, either. Both Jenny and Sarah can tell you that I've been planning this for a while now. Suck up, I still have some continents to divvy out.
-Amanda the Tator
16.9.02
I think the mailroom workers in my dorm have been stealing my mail. I don't technically have any evidence, but I haven't gotten any mail for the past few days, and I should obviously be getting stacks and stacks of love letters and gifts and flowers, and I haven't been.
And now it's time for everyone's favorite game show...NAME THAT DRAG QUEEN!
This is my friend Sean. Sean needs a trashy yet clever drag name. If you can think of one, leave it in the comments section. There's no prize for winning, since who can put a price on the joy of a man in a skirt?
Hey everyone! Just to introduce myself, my name is Jenny and I am a friend of Sarah. Find out more about me here.
I'd like to start off my first post saying I am a big fan of Quaker Instant Oatmeal. I'm partial to the flavor variety packs and currently in my dorm room I have the Fruit & Cream Variety.
This is a picture of the box:
So this morning I opened the box looking for a packet of Peaches & Cream. Due to previous color conditioning, I was looking for peach colored text on the packet. Much to my surprise, the good folks at Quaker seem to think we are color blind and the color of the packets don't matter at all what-so-ever. The Peaches & Cream packet was dark blue! The exact color of Blueberries & Cream on the box! Blueberries & Cream got the shaft with a purple packet. Bananas & Cream was an understandable brown (with yellow not being a good text color) and Strawberries & Cream was the only packet of its own advertised coloring. The other thing in this variety pack is 10 packs of oatmeal cannot be evenly distributed between four flavors. There are two Strawberry, two Blueberry, four Peach, and two Banana. So that means each time I want a peach packet (those four times) I have to read the packet and check the picture of the peaches cause I think I am getting Blueberry out of the box. (And we all know Blueberry is far inferior to the other three flavors.) So wish me luck the next time I eat oatmeal.
15.9.02
I am so sick of writing papers. Why do professors keep assigning them? They can't be fun to read or grade, and an original thought in a college student's paper is about as rare as a gay Republican.
Also my head hurts from the nasty library lights, and I have to pee but I'm afraid to leave my laptop in this little room. So all in all it's pretty crappy to be me right now. My situation will improve exponentially when I can get a decent night's sleep.
11.9.02
I know you've all been waiting on pins and needles for my input on this grim anniversary. "Screw the President and CNN, I want to hear what Sarah has to say!" I'm sure you're thinking to yourself. But what can I say that hasn't been said many times before, and much more eloquently than my meager skills will allow? However, I feel obligated to try, if not for you all then for myself. So here it is.
I feel a lot of different emotions when I think about the events of September 11th, not the least of which is an extreme sadness, for all the lives lost and all of their familes. I feel an anger that borders on fury, and I don't think it has tempered any with time. Because if you purposefully take an innocent human life, you are a fucking asshole. And if you purposefully take 3,000 innocent human lives because they don't believe in the same god as you, or you don't like the way their government handled some things, you are a giant fucking asshole and you shouldn't be surprised when your barren, backwards country is turned into a barren, backwards country with smoking craters where all the caves used to be. I've been afraid, disgusted, and shocked. But I've also felt hope, because of the good will people have shown to each other and the incredible solidarity that was evident for weeks and months afterwards.
So this anniversary shouldn't be altogether sad. Take time to cry, pray, punch a pillow, write an angry rant on your blog, or whatever else you think will help you heal. But don't forget that you're able to do all these things because you're alive. You didn't die when the towers fell, time didn't stop, and the world didn't grind to a halt. So live your life, and enjoy it. Notice little things. Pet a puppy. Hug your friends and family. Live.
10.9.02
Tuesday is the worst day of the week. Mondays aren't all that bad, you're too tired (or too hung over) to really give a shit about anything, and everybody else is too so they won't really give you any crap. Plus, there's Monday Night Football. Wednesday is called "Hump Day," and how can anyone be unhappy on a day called Hump Day? Thursday is a party night and there's usually baseball on, as well as Friends and ER, so no complaints here. And nobody doesn't like Friday. But Tuesday....man. The reality of having to stagger through the rest of the week (3 whole days until Friday) and the fact that classes last an insufferable hour and 15 minutes make Tuesday a very shitty day indeed.
8.9.02
I wish interesting things would happen to me, because I'm too lazy to go out and do something interesting on my own.
Heels beat Syracuse last night 30-22. Makes me happy. Now, if we could get a center that won't hike the ball into his own crotch or wait too long after the snap-count, we would have it made.
Some things that piss me off:
-People who spell it "Jimmy Hendricks"
-the designated hitter
-the Yankees
-Diet Sprite
-local news anchors
-Lenoir taking away the takeout boxes
6.9.02
I am so damn busy. Nashville Auto-Deisel College is starting to look pretty alluring. I hear truckers make good money.
I came out to one of my good friends the other day. That's right, I told her I was a Republican. It felt good to have it out in the open like that. I just don't want to have to pretend anymore.
I spend all my free time playing this game. So addictive.
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