23.2.03
I had the following conversation through the door of my bathroom today (I was soaking in the tub)
My Mom: Sarah, I have a question.
Me: Shoot.
My Mom: Was there a joke about a rat in a tampon factory on TV last night?
Me: Yes, Mom. It was in Top Secret! My Mom: OK, I just wanted to make sure I didn't dream it.
And you people wonder why I turned out the way I did.
19.2.03
My suitemate is playing her gospel music at 'Apocalypse' levels. Makes me want to set my alarm clock to go off in five minutes, lock my door, and go out to dinner.
18.2.03
I went to the NCSU vs. FSU basketball game tonight at the RBC Center. The woman who sang the national anthem forgot the words! She also sang it opera style as opposed to the southern country style we are used to hearing. At the end her voice should have shattered the glass on the backboards. It was strugglin. I'm happy to report that NCSU beat FSU. GO PACK!
17.2.03
You know, I'm about sick to death from hearing about "Oh, we shouldn't go to war with Iraq, they're so soft and fuzzy and innocent! America is mean, it just wants oil!" You know, the hell with that. Hussein is evil and tortures his own citizens. And he once wrote a romance novel. No one who writes romance novels deserves to live. And of course we want oil. But we don't need more of it from Iraq. Did you know that the country we get the most oil from is Canada? We can probably sustain ourselves just fine without Iraqi oil. But you know what? If we do overthrow Hussein's regime, we can get their oil, and stop dealing with the Saudi Arabian bastards who sent 15 of their citizens flying into our buildings. AND IF YOU HIPPIES WOULD LET US GET OIL OUT OF ALASKA, WE WOULDN'T NEED ANYONE ELSE'S OIL! And one more thing. No more of this bull that we're going to war with Islam. Iraq is in the Middle East, yes. But they are a SECULAR country. That means no state religion. And you know what? When we do go to war, we're sending over volunteers. That's right, people who KNEW that they could be called on to fight and die in service of their country, not people we forced to join up. **deep breath**
OK. Sorry about that, guys. Felt the need to rant.
14.2.03
Here's something funny. And by funny I mean really fucking annoying. Last night around 8:30 I went to Davis library to start my paper that was due today (shut up). I've got a bunch of call numbers for reference books on my topic, and I get a huge stack of them together. I need a book from the 6th floor so I pick a study room, set my books down on the table, and go. I'm gone for literally two minutes, come back, and the overly zealous library worker chick had stolen my goddamn books. AND MY COPY OF BOUNCE! That was just low. So I left the book I had just picked up in the room, then go down to the first floor to wait for the stupid cart girl. She gets there 15 minutes later, I get my books back, go back up to the 3rd floor, and THEY HAD TAKEN THE BOOK I LEFT IN THE ROOM. I was about pissed off.
13.2.03 I am Spaceman Spiff! Zounds! You are the intrepid Spaceman Spiff, the engaging explorer ensconsed in an unending universe of exotic and evil extraterrestrials! You're brave, but you should give that dictionary a rest.
11.2.03
I had my first big Ass-Busting of 2003 this morning. Didn't even see it coming. I was just turning around and then I was flying through the air. I guess it must have looked pretty impressive. I caught it mostly on one butt cheek, instead of my tailbone, so that was nice. I don't think anyone actually saw it. Yeah, right. I'll just keep telling myself that.
I almost killed some girl in the cafeteria today. She was chatting with her sorority girl-looking blonde friend, saying, "I'm so mad! That A- really pulled down my GPA!" I mean, I had my fork ready to stab her right in the soul. But since The Man tends to frown on stabbing people with plastic cutlery, I held back. Grrr.
So I'm standing in front of the sink in the suite bathroom flossing my teeth when I hear "Hey, do you guys have the sports page?" and about five seconds later have a guy come into the bathroom. I guess there's a first time for everything but I wish my suitemates were a bit more courteous. I think if I had a guy over I would check the bathroom for them for the sanity of my suitemates. Let's just say I rushed through the flossing and got out of there. I suppose with my lack of visitors I don't come across that issue often. I think I've only had two people come see me this semester: Leslie and Sarah B. Oh well. I'll do more entertaining when I move into the apartment. Only six more months!
7.2.03
Sarah's grandpa update:
Things are looking better. His kidneys and liver, which were starting to fail, have actually started functioning better and he's out of intensive care. It could be better and he's still very sick, but he definitely has a chance. Thanks to everyone for being so supportive and cool.
6.2.03
I just found out that my grandfather is in the hospital in critical condition, and they don't think he'll make it. If you guys could please pray for him and my grandma and my mom I would really appreciate it.
It appears that there is a rotating banner ad on Seanbaby of a young Asian man displaying a w33-nar. At other times this banner ad features boobs and female self-touching. You have been warned. Or, if you're Andy, you've been given a hot tip for free porn. Either way.
5.2.03
Goddamn it, I cannot figure out the stupid code for the random quote thingy up there in the corner. I mean, it's been explained to me and all, but whenever I stick a new quote in the code it goes all stupid and the quote comes up as 'undefined' and IT'S ABOUT TO PISS ME OFF. Well, I'm not really mad or anything, I just felt like doing that. I'm changing the total quote number and everything. So, Burney or Jenny, one of you go fix it and help my sorry ass out.
Speaking of sorry asses, I've decided to publicly announce (I just had to look up the spelling on both of those words, I'm perhaps not running on all cylinders today) my Singles Awareness Day Party right here in beautiful Boone. Party from February 14th until you sober up enough to make it out of town. I'm all 21 and whatnot, and let's just say the the employees at the local ABC store know me by name and vodka preference. Come on up the mountain, it should be quite the time. For more info, IM or email me, or just show up on my doorstep.
...
10 minutes later. Looks like the code worked itself out. It just felt like being a big bastard, and then fixing itself so I look like a chump. WELL, I KNOW WHERE YOU LIVE, YOU ASSHOLE CODE. FEAR ME, FOR I WIELD THE DELETE KEY. Of course, if I deleted that fancy code Sarah Burney would kill me, no doubt about that.
4.2.03
Did you know, Senator John Edwards is an advocate for clean air? I didn't know this until last night when I had to write a letter to a public elected government official on any topic I choose. Now if only he'd get people to stop smoking out infront of my dorm so I can take a breath of fresh air as I walk outside. Also, near the doors to the ground floor of Caldwell. People were huddled there today out of the rain and I about choked on all the smoke. >:o
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