31.3.03
MarIaDimes : Jenny Roach, Doctor of Geriatric Psychology?
SuperJen4 : Special Agent Roach
MarIaDimes : poli sci? criminal justice?
SuperJen4 : Poli Sci with a double major in Spanish
SuperJen4 : straight to the FBI
MarIaDimes : are you kidding?
SuperJen4 : well, that's one option
MarIaDimes : holla! I've got a friend in law enforcement!!!
SuperJen4 : Burney wants to join too. they hire people with law degrees as well
MarIaDimes : what division do you want to go into?
SuperJen4 : I've got to be accepted before i decide that much
MarIaDimes : hahaha. Jenny's gonna have a gun!
MarIaDimes : I love it
SuperJen4 : I want to finish the first major, then go study abroad in Spain, then finish the second one
MarIaDimes : and then to the academy
SuperJen4 : the other career goal is to marry a millionaire. it'll be close
Today my kitty got his eye removed. He had a cataract on it, so it's not like he could see out of it anyway. But last week my mom said it started looking all gross so they took him to the vet. So now he's confined to a crate for the next 4-5 days, which should be very interesting. He's a vicious little beast, but I love him. 15 year old crotchety bastard.
27.3.03
Kelly's boyfriend Seth is the best amateur bartender in the world. And apparently, many of the people who read this blog are in college. And, as such, they like to drink. A lot. So in the interest of sharing and caring, which we are all about here at touched by an anvil (from now on. Maybe.), I now offer to you, Seth Taylor's Blue Stuff (patent pending).
-3 parts Sprite
-1 part vodka
-1 1/2 parts Blue Curacao
-splash of Sour Mix
Put all that in a martini shaker with some ice, shake, and serve.
Sometimes I just want to throw things at people. Not all people, really, just the ones that take themselves and everything else so damn seriously. It really bothers me when people can't laugh at themselves. Mostly it's the overly-arty types, the ones with greasy hair and emo glasses and Che Guevara t-shirts. The people who go on and on about the merits of Thelonious Monk's piano style versus that of, say, Art Tatum. The absolutely humorless types that enjoy Jerry Lewis for his brilliant take on postmodern gender roles in "Cinderfella." Also, humorless feminists. They hate men so much that they dress exactly like them. And every goddamn word out of somebody's mouth, they take as misogynistic and anti-"womyn." That's right, they spell women with a y. Assholes. I want to throw something like an orange at them and yell "FOR GOD'S SAKE, STOP BEING LIKE THAT!" which would be satisfying to me, but throwing fruit at people probably isn't the best way to teach them how to laugh. Anyway, here's a short list of the people I want to throw something at.
-Pushy art-fags
-Protesters who compare Bush to Hitler
-girls who wear clubbing clothes and big platform shoes to class
-people who call the Dave Matthews Band "Dave"
-people who get mad at me when I say "fuck"
17.3.03
Jenny: so I'm going to Oklahoma. all expenses paid.
Chris: should be wild in oklahoma
Jenny: Oklahoma City is the third largest city in the nation
Jenny: I've been reading up on it just in case we lose the first round
Jenny: I'm pretty sure we have to stay until Sunday whether we win or lose due to flight plans
Chris: we'll win, i can feel it
Chris: national championship, here we come
Jenny: after the bears, those sooners will soon be out of the tourney!
Jenny: eh, that was lame
Chris: yea, but you made a good effort
Jenny: i don't make corny jokes often. i made one this time because we'll be seeing a lot of corn in oklahoma. ha ha ha ha
Chris: AWESOME
13.3.03
Movie and calzone night was on Tuesday. We made homemade calzones with hyperactive bread dough and watched "The Last of the Mohicans" and "The Little Mermaid." Sarah C, Amanda, Paul, and I were all in attendance.
Amanda: Jenny, guess what I have in my fridge.
Jenny: Is it cheese?
Amanda: No, it's a mammal.
Jenny: Is it dead?
Amanda: It is now.
Amanda: Are these jellybeans vintage?
Sarah: Dude, those are like ten years old!
Amanda: Hmmm, a bit crunchy.
5.3.03
So we're supposed to have our second test on Friday in my Evolutionary Biology class, the day before Spring Break. But since the professor didn't get our first tests back to us yet, he said we could vote to have the test moved to after break, but only if the vote was unanimous. So we have a paper ballot vote. So he collect the votes and announces, "One person voted to keep the test on Friday, so that's when we'll have it." And do you know who that one person was? Heh heh heh. I kind of feel like a dick, but I'm sorry, I just didn't want to spend all Spring Break worrying about a test and forgetting the few things I know. I was talking to a girl after class and she was going on about how she would absolutely kill whoever voted not to move the test, if she knew who it was. I said I thought it was the guy who sits in front of her.
I just can't give a rat's ass this week. I have more due in 5 days than I've had due all semester, and I just don't care. Study? No way, I feel like crap. Go to class? Fuck that, Price is Right is on. Isn't spring where you're supposed to shake off the lethargy you've felt all winter?
3.3.03
I would like to proudly announce that I've beaten my All-Time Urination Record by four seconds. The previous record was 71 seconds, set last year after I woke up one day. The new record is 75 seconds, set during a potty break on the way to my grandmother's house. Who pees for a minute and 15 seconds? And the amazing thing is, I had just stopped to pee maybe an hour and a half before, and I hadn't even drunk a whole bottle of water since then.
On a related note, if memory serves me correctly, I also won the Who Can Pee the Most Times During the 24 Hours of 24 contest. I suggested that next year, contestants should pee into measuring cups so we could judge a winner based on volume, but I remember being quickly shot down.
I could pee you under the table.
1.3.03
In the tradition of Andy and the gang over on that other blog, here's the song of the day.
"Don't Touch Me" by Brak
Whoa
Hey
Don't touch me
Don't touch me
Whoa
Hey
Don't touch me
Hey
Hey
Don't touch me
Don't touch me
Hey
Whoa
Don't touch me
La la la
La la la la
La la la la
La la la la
La la la la
La
DON'T TOUCH ME
I think those are lyrics we can all relate to in some way.
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