30.4.03
So there's this girl that sits next to me in Com Law, and she has this thing with copying my lecture notes. It's not because she always skips class. She comes to class, usually on time, and she stays awake. But heaven forbid I start to write something down, and there she goes scribbling away, craning her head around my carefully placed arm to see what I've written down. I swear to God, is she not in the same room as me? Does she not hear the same lecture from Dr. Gates as me? She pulls this crap every Monday, Wednesday and Friday. Sometimes I pretend that I don't have peripheral vision and just look at my professor or the hot guy sitting across the room from me, and sometimes I'll give her a blase look as she says "sorry."
Things got interesting today when I was waiting in the hallway to get into my next class. I saw the annoying girl walk by, so I shared my dilemma with another girl who also happens to be in the same Com Law class. Of course, I'm blabbing away when she walks by again from the opposite direction and gives me a look that I can't describe. The girl I was talking to said that I had stopped talking by the time the girl had rounded the corner, but you know how my voice carries. I wanted to shrivel up and die.
And because God is cruel, I had to see her two more times in the building later in the day. Plus, I still have to take the final exam sitting next to her. ARGH.
Want to hear something funny? So Boone Power and Light or whatever was going around today checking all the big metal lamp posts by the roads for rust. Tapping them with a rock hammer. And they get to the one on the bank above the Rankin Science Building teacher's parking lot. Tap, tap, tap. And, lo and behold, there goes the lamp post toppling over, right through the windshield of my mammalogy professor's car (he wasn't in it). I always knew I had mind powers. I tried not to laugh when he told me about it, but come on. A rock hammer? It was great.
Kind of made me think, though. He said it would cost about $1200 to fix, but his insurance would cover it. But if that happened to me, my car be legally totalled, since it's Kelley Blue Book Value is a little over $500 (shut up). Basically, if I even get in a fender-bender, my car is fucked. Fortunately, my car lives to kill me, so I assume that as long as I'm around, it will be, too.
26.4.03
It's the least wonderful time of the year. Finals time. Nothing is more spirit-crushing than a cumulative final. As a touched by an anvil public service, here are some things to do that may help ease the tension of exam week.
1. Go out onto the intramural fields and officiate a pickup game of soccer until they chase you away. Bring red and yellow cards. Use them frequently.
2. Re-enact a classic nightmare. Find a building with several exams going on at once. Run down the hall your underwear and act frantic. Ask people if they know where the Chem 11 final is, because you haven't been to class all semester.
3. Become ordained at the Universal Life Church. Perform weddings on people studying in the library. Wear priestly vestments and a pope hat if possible.
4. E-mail your professors and TAs and ask them, very nicely, if they could summarize everything they lectured on this semester. Tell them "I really tried to make it to class, but The Price Is Right was on."
5. Drink. Heavily. (This is college, after all.)
Feel free to post your own stress-relieving ideas. This post isn't going to comment on itself.
So just out of curiosity, what do you think is the hottest part of The Two Towers? Personally, I'm torn between the bit where Legolas swings up on the horse and the Best Entrance Evar by Aragorn into Helm's Deep.
Burney: 1 month (Not a girl; not yet a woman)
Amanda: 5 months, 2 days (Geezer)
Chun: 6 months (What's my name again?)
Jenny: 6 months, 3 days (What's my name again?, Part Deux)
If the fire alarm goes off at 4:45AM on the morning before your 8AM class: Curse whoever set the alarm off, put on sweatshirt hoodie, start to go downstairs, get jammed up in stairwell, tell your roommate if there was a real fire we'd be dead already from smoke inhalation from being stuck in the stairwell, make it outside, pray the whole ordeal will end soon. Wait for elevator and then go back to room.
Rumor was someone set off the alarm from taking a shower. The steam can trip the detectors if you don't close the bathroom door. Who the hell in their right mind takes a shower at 4:45AM in a college dorm?
OK, NOW SOME IRONY FOR YOU I finished writing that much at 9:45. The FUCKING ALARM WENT OFF AGAIN!!! AND FOR THE SAME REASON ON THE SAME FLOOR OF THE BUILDING!!!!!! Two alarms in a five hour period. This time I went downstairs, again, and then headed over to Tucker Lab to chill til it was over.
Oh my goodness. Someone is really going to pay this time.
23.4.03
Went to donate blood today at a Kappa Alpha-sponsored Blood Drive. Now, I usually avoid the Greeks like SARS, but it'd been at least four months since I last donated, and I felt the need to feel light-headed. I was waiting to be pricked on my left arm when three sorority girls come in squealing about how nervous they are, how it's their first time, how they're scared of needles, etc. They ran back and forth from a couple of KA brothers who were being drained, simultaneously engaging what I presumed to be a mating ritual, and looking at the IV tube thingy and running away. Now, my blood pressure is usually a steady 100/70, but I could feel the veins in my forehead popping. Do they have to be that stupid? I mean, God Almighty, shut the fuck up and suck it up.
22.4.03
This morning I left my room about five minutes later than I normally leave on Tuesdays to get to my 8:05 class. I picked up my news paper then came around my building to see that CharLee had just left too and apparently has an 8:05 as well. He was at a distance, so I busted ass to catch up with him. After a second glance, it is again confirmed that does not have real Bostons. I noticed this coming up the stairs from the tunnel. After that I quickened my pace so I'd get to class on time. As I turned the corner around a building, I did the "classic over the shoulder movie glance" to see if he was still anywhere behind me. I did indeed see him. Then I took two more steps and before I knew it, I was on the ground. My Adidas Sambas just weren't feeling the traction to the brick. I landed on my left knee and had to get up like nothing had happened. Turns out, there was some green mildew from yesterday's rain on the brick I slipped on. It looked like I had a grass stain on my jeans. Luckily I didn't tear them on the brick. I know my knee would have been gashed open if I had not have had jeans on. Don't worry everyone. I saved my jeans with some spot washing in the bathroom sink. Oh yeah. My knee feels ok, and I was hoping for more of a bruise. Maybe I'll have one when I wake up.
Lessons learned:
-Save the "classic over the shoulder movie glance" for the movies.
-Bricks are not conducive to safe walking.
-Always wear jeans in preparation to taking spills on brick.
So I went to see Guster in concert last night. Ask me how it was.
*taps foot, checks watch*
IT WAS AWESOME!!!! It was hot and sweaty and I got claustrophobic from the crush of frat boys and high schoolers, but it didn't matter once they launched into I Spy. I'm still hoarse. Anyway, here's a recap of the night.
6:45 - Get picked up by Shellie. Pick up Patrick's friend Dallas (who was way cool) at Craige, hit the road. Discuss feminism, music, books, and other intelligent-sounding topics. Nobody will play the geography game with me.
7:50 - Get pulled over by The Man just inside of Winston-Salem. Apparently Shellie's license plate tag is out of date. The Man lets us go.
8:15 - Arrive at Ziggy's, see huge line. Bypass line because we didn't get our tickets on the internet. Snicker at the retarded high-schoolers who did.
9:15 - Wheat comes on. They're not bad, but they're not Guster either.
10:20 - Guster finally comes on stage. They are awesome. They played a 15 song set, with a 3 song encore. I don't remember the exact order of what they played, but they started out with I Spy and then, in some order, played Two Points for Honesty, Happier, Parachute, Mona Lisa, Airport Song, Center of Attention, What You Wish For, X-Ray Eyes, three songs off their upcoming CD called Amsterdam, Ramona, and Keep It Together, Not the Same (Ben Folds cover - I called Jenny so she could listen. I'm her hero.), and they ended with Fa Fa. They ended one of the songs with part of Where the Streets Have No Name. I think it was Two Points for Honesty or Mona Lisa. Then they told us they were going to stop playing and walk 5 feet towards the door, and if we clapped they'd come do an encore. It's refreshing to get that kind of candor from a rock star of the caliber of Ryan Miller. Their encore started with Either Way, then because some guy kept yelling for Medicine, they made us a deal. If they were going to play it, it was going to be the smooth jazz version.THAT was awesome. It wasn't really smooth jazz, but it had some awesome jazz-style guitar done by their backup dude. Then, their big closer was Demon. They ended at about 10 til midnight, so we got a good hour and a half of face-rockage. Best concert I've ever been to. We proceed to leave.
1:15 - We finally make it to I-40. Winston-Salem sucks.
1:30 - Pull off the highway with the intention of getting some gas. Instead, we see something yellow off in the distance.....WAFFLE HOUSE.
2:45 - Finally get home, get propositioned over IMer by a slightly inebriated Andy, then collapse from exhaustion.
So all in all, a great great night. I wish they had played Rocketship or So Long, but I really can't complain. Anyway, if you've made it this far, congratulations. You totally should have come, dude.
**update** here's the official set list. Also, a plug, their new CD comes out in June, so buy it then because it's going to rock.
Keeping in the spirit of Chun's last post, I pose this slightly discomfiting question. If you, like, had a gun to your head or something and you had to do five members of the same sex, who would you do? And don't pretend you wouldn't do it if your life was in danger.
If I had to pick, I'd say
-Jennifer Aniston
-Audrey Hepburn (when she was young, perverts)
-Penelope Cruz
-Gwen Stefani (she has a hot voice) (in a side note, download her version of "Almost Blue," it rules)
-I dunno, I ran out of people at this point. Maybe Gwyneth Paltrow, she rocked in The Royal Tenenbaums.
OK, answers, people. And be honest. I don't want any of this "I'd take a bullet" crap.
The OCD comes as no surprise. I was suprised at the paranoia rating, but consider that a paranoid is someone who knows the truth. My vanity fluctuates proportionately to how many times I've hit the snooze button.
15.4.03
puerta007: i feel like shit
puerta007: i feel ill. and in two hours i've taken 2 excedrine, antihistamine, and 4 ibprofen
MarIaDimes: do I need to call Suicide Watch?
puerta007: haha...nah...but do talk me out if it if i decide to start drinking
puerta007: 4 advil will goof a person up
14.4.03
Well, I didn't want to say anything until it was a sure thing. But a new era of UNC basketball awesomeness is upon us. Roy Williams is going to be the new head coach. We have retained all our talent from last year and are adding several stellar recruits. It will be a beautiful thing. That is, unless you're another ACC team.....MUAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!
Satchel: Gosh I love ice cream...if I needed a job, I would start my own ice cream making thingy...
Bucky: You could team up with a pig and call your company "Hog and Dog's"
Satchel: I don't get it.
Rob: Unfortunately I do.
Ok, I'm curious, so let's hear it. Don't be shy. Top five books, everyone.
In no particular order:
Catch-22 by Joseph Heller
The Lord of the Rings by J. R. R. Tolkien
The Prince of Tides by Pat Conroy
American Tabloid by James Ellroy
The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy by Douglas Adams
12.4.03
One of my top five pet peeves. I hate when people try to use HTML in the title of their web page. The part in that blue bar of the window, you know what I mean. The tags show up, but that's it. I mean, damn. Come on, people.
10.4.03
Pop-up ads must be the new incarnation of evil. There are pop-up ads selling programs to get rid of pop-up ads, hidden cameras that will capture vapid blondes in various poses, prescription drugs for my baldness, high blood pressure, allergies and arthritis, prescription drugs for my dogs' baldness, high blood pressure, allergies and arthritis, vacations, Web sites that sell vacations. Other pop-ups shout excitedly "You are a winner!!!!!!!!!" with digital confetti floating about. A winner of what, I'm not exactly sure.
It's not like spam; you can't filter pop-ups with an email program. It's not like telemarketers; you can't say "Gimme your number; we can continue this conversation during your dinner time" and then hang up.
They are omnipresent. Read the headlines from abcnews.com, you'll get popped from Orbitz. Buy something from Target Online, you'll get popped from amazon.com. Download a file from KaZaa, you'll get popped by everyone.
7.4.03
Burney and I attended a party this past Saturday. We discovered the little known fact that people actually read this blog! We are aware that we have many lurkers out there who are entertained by our postings AND NEVER COMMENT ON THEM!!! Do you actually think we have this blog for our own amusement? Well yeah, we do. Duh. We still would like more interaction from everyone. Chun made some effort, and she's a new member of the blog. If you don't have anything to say, then at least post a comment so we know you are out there. We'll also spare you when La Revolucion comes.
4.4.03
I'm walking by Welborn Dining Hall and I see a large patch of yellow daffodil bulbs at their peak bloom. I don't think "Gee, those are pretty" or "Thank the Lord it's finally spring." No, I say to myself, "My daffodils in the Sims are better."
3.4.03
agntkoala: that's the gay
puerta007: who's the gay?
agntkoala: not me
puerta007: that's not what i heard.
agntkoala: don't make me come over there
puerta007: bring it.
agntkoala: i'll be there in 8 hours.
puerta007: i'll be ready.
puerta007: mating season just brings out the aggression in everyone
agntkoala: yep
agntkoala: you can't see it, but i'm swelling my throat in a threatening manner
agntkoala: and making a slight hissing noise
This is a completely gay-ass quiz, but it said I'm perfect so I'm putting it up here anyway.
-Perfect- You're the perfect girlfriend. Which means you're rare or that you cheated :P You're the kind of chick that can hang out with your boyfriend's friends and be silly. You don't care about presents or about going to fancy places. Hell, just hang out. You're just happy being around your boyfriend.
If the fire alarm goes off at 4am: Put on jacket. Go downstairs. Curse whoever set off alarm. Go back upstairs once cleared.
If the fire alarm goes off while taking clothes out of the dryer: Proceed to finish folding clothes. (There is no good reason to leave clothes in dryer to get wrinkly) Go outside. Wait until clear. Go back inside and retrieve laundry. Go upstairs to room.
If the fire alarm goes off around 8pm while eating dinner after getting back to work: Tell Burney I'll brb. Put up fire alarm away message. Change out of pajama pants into jeans. Grab notebook in order to study incase of prolonged drill. Go downstairs. Glare disdainfully at boys huddled in circle smoking -(they could be the very reason the alarm went off!!!) Proceed back inside when cleared and wait to take elevator. Cram into elevator with 10+ people. Stop at 4,5,and 7 and also glare especially at people from 4 and 5. Go back into room after wasting valuable eating and study time.
Well, I guess I'll start my first post with a bit of bummer news. Edwin Starr, of "War! What is it good for; absolutely nothing" fame died of a heart attack today. Apparently he had been living in London, which would be kinda forgivable if he was Gwyneth Paltrow or Prince William, but the man was born in Nashville. Say it again now, Nashville. Still, I pay my respects to the man whose contribution made Rush Hour tolerable.
This is just about the most hilarious stuff I've ever read.
In cat news, Lucky is doing fine but having a little trouble adapting to his monocular life. Bonks into things occasionally.
In awesome news, in case you didn't understand Austin's comment on the last post, I won a photoshop contest on Fark.com! I AM TEH AWEXOME!!! The theme was make a regular movie into a porno. The picture that won it for me was....wait for it....
1.4.03
If there's one thing that this blog lacks, it's goofy pictures of everyone but me. In that spirit, I give you The Girls of Singles Awareness Day 2003: Dorks Gone Wild. Heh heh. Perhaps this will inspire Sarah Burney to post some of those '24 Hours of 24' pictures. Because this blog also sadly lacks pictures of male ass. Good times, good times...
So I was registering for classes today. And I got all the classes I need and was looking at my schedule. I noticed that my Fridays were awfully empty...then I noticed that my Fridays were completely empty. Sweet tapdancing Jesus, I have no Friday classes next fall. I tell you, I got a little verklempt looking at that schedule. It was just so beautiful. Sniff.
And to make a great day even more memorable, I saw The Artist Formerly Known as Prince in my dorm. And he must run cross-country or something, cause those were some short shorts.
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