29.8.03
Wow, I was looking through my stuff and if everything goes to plan, after this year I'll be one class away from finishing my History major and completely done with my Classics minor. After that it'll just be accumulating enough hours to graduate, and passing the swim test. Excellent...
And now, continuing with Jenny's tips for better living, I'd like to offer some advice to the people who actively try to make me run them over as I bike from class to class.
1. Pick a side of the sidewalk and go with it. I don't care if it's left or right, just don't weave around like a drunkard
2. When you see me coming, don't suddenly change direction to avoid me. I have already adjusted myself to you, and you can change direction faster than I can.
3. Do not stop in large groups down the exact center of the sidewalk. Nobody (pedestrians included) can penetrate your invincible wall of socialization. So shut the fuck up and keep moving.
4. WALK FASTER.
And there you have it. Now that you've read these, I'm going to stop killing myself to keep from hitting you. You have been warned, pedestrians.
26.8.03
Attn Wolfline riders. I have now ridden the bus for five consecutive school days and consider myself a bus riding pro. Please be advised of these tips:
1. Please wear deoderant. Things get tight.
2. When the driver says "Please move to the back," do so. (also, see #1) Just think about the other half of the crowd who could not get on the bus cause you and your fat ass couldn't scrunch in some more.
3. Please do not put your bags on a separate chair, and then proceed to complain about the bus system. Dude. You are taking up two seats when other people are standing and holding on for dear life. First off, you should not take up two seats at any time. But since you did, you should not be more of a jackass and complain about the bus.
4. If I am standing closer to the entrance of the bus than you, do not cut in line and push your way up to the front. I know, Eye of the Tiger, but if I've been waiting for 20 mins in my prime location and you stroll up there after waiting 2 minutes. I will cut your throat.
5. Please let people exit the bus before you get on. The bus isn't going to leave any sooner if you get on it before the people getting off exit. (The same applies to elevators. Get a clue)
6. Please maintain your person when you're sitting next to me. Napping is fine, but don't lose self-control and end up leaning over and bumping into me. I like my personal space, thank you.
Most pleasant bus riding experience: Taking the Vet School bus from Carter Finley today. An air-conditioned, padded seat bus with the best bus driver ever. He was nice, attentive, friendly, and drove safe. Hope to see you again sometime buddy.
18.8.03
In the grand tradition of the Immaculate Ejaculates crew of digging up old hilarity from the archives, I'd like to remind you all of this post from way back in September of aught-two:
"It was a warm summer's morning as Jenny, Amanda, Sarah Chun, and I set off for Busch Gardens Williamsburg. 20 minutes into the trip Amanda started complaining about being bored, so I reach into my backpack and pull out the first thing I get my hands on, which happened to be my bottle of Excedrin (I always have one with me.) "Here, play with this," I said, and went back to doing the crossword puzzle. A few seconds later I hear "hcck! hcccccccccccck!" coming from the general direction of Amanda. You know those little canisters of silica gel they put in medicine bottles to keep it from getting all wet? The one that says "DO NOT EAT" on it? She tried to get it open by biting it and ended up with a mouthful of silica. She spent the next hour complaining about being bored AND having a disgusting taste in her mouth. "
Yes, when you can't think of something funny to say, think of something funny you said a long time ago.
OK, so here's the situation. Braves are playing in St. Louis tonight, Horacio Ramirez is pitching. In the bottom of the 5th, Mike Matheny singles to start the inning, then Orlando Palmeiro gets to first on a sacrifice bunt that didn't sacrifice. This brings up the pitcher, Woody Williams. He tries to bunt on the first pitch but it goes foul. Takes a ball for the second. The runners start going on the double steal attempt, so Williams swings at the third pitch. He hits a liner towards left-center field, but Rafael Furcal makes this monster leap and snags it (one). He runs a few yards over to second and tags the base before Matheny can get back (two). Then he runs a few feet and catches Palmiero before he can get back to first (three!). It's only the 11th regular-season unassisted triple play in the history of major league baseball. It was teh AWESOMENESS.
September 10 at the Disco Rodeo (formerly The Ritz). Doors at 8, Show at 9. Tickets are $15 ($16 including a service charge), you can get them from Schoolkids in Raleigh and Chapel Hill or www.etix.com (the Guster tour site has more details).
Everyone must go to this Guster show. Even if you barely know who Guster is. It will be teh wonderful.
8.8.03
Ladies night out: Sarah, Sarah, and I went to see Seabiscuit and SWAT tonight.
General conclusions:
1. Red Pollard should have straight hair.
2. Hushpuppies are like Jesus in your mouth.
3. Colin Farrell is fucking hot.
4. We'd do Samuel L. Jackson.
3.8.03
I was always critical of the series of CDs on which peppy pre-teens sing the top-40 hits. Kids Bop, I believe they are called. But that was before....the outrage. Before, it was just irritating. Before, it was just a low point in the recording industry, to be swept under the rug and ignored. But now they've gone TOO GOD DAMN FAR!
They have recorded a song that I like.
Specifically, "A Praise Chorus" by Jimmy Eat World.
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