28.8.05 I've never been pulled over. And I never will be.
Well, I guess we can just take that off the damn list of things I can say without lying. Cary cops are bastards. Just total, total assholes. I mean seriously, no one was on the road. No one. Why shouldn't I drive 56 in a 35 mph work zone if I want to? Driving the speed limit is for grandmas and pussies.
Also, I didn't even get a chance to try and cry my way out of the ticket or tell this asshole redneck farmboy goat-screwing cop that I was late for my wedding or about to give birth or something. Just wham bam bend over here's your ticket. And it's not like I can just mail some cash in either. Oh, no. Apparently, 21 mph over the limit means you're going straight to court. I hate downtown Raleigh. Like, with the kind of burning passion I usually reserve for people who cut me off on 40 or talk about their oozing pustules.
I like to drive fast. I refuse to apologize.
Although that maybe isn't the tack I'll take in court.
Also, I'm gonna need for someone to be my lawyer. I'm accepting all reasonable to semi-reasonable applications. You'll need a suit and the ability to keep me calm and prevent me from saying things that could conceivably land me in Federal Pound Me in the Ass Prison. The job won't pay well, but at least you'll get a good story out of it.
24.8.05
Say what you will about each JL member, but as a group, there is one thing we do expertly with passion, dedication, creativity, and enthusiasm: eat (and also whine). We've planned entire social events around food, trips to the city du jour with restaurants planned, and in general, lain waste to entire chicken farms and corn fields in one sitting (props to the Dan'l). Thai, American, Greek, Italian, Chinese, Mexican, our gluttony knows no prejudice. Having said that, I think the JL has underestimated the growing diversity of cuisine available in the greater Triangle area. Here now, is my list of dining establishments yet to be conquered (descriptions courtesy of citysearch.com):
-Porter's Tavern The food is eclectic, fun, plentiful, inexpensive--and really good. Dishes range from sandwiches and burgers to pasta and steaks. Seafood po' boys come with a spicy Creole remoulade. Most of the seafood is locally caught.
-Rio Churrascaria Meat runners--called passadors--glide through the restaurant carrying skewers of meats. Depending on the time of night, they might have over a dozen choices. The Brazilian specialty, picanha, is a dense, rich beef. Delicate filet mignon and top round slice as easily as butter, while bacon encases chicken and beef and tastes so good you'll be anxious for seconds.
-Bahama Breeze The restaurant, which serves quirky Caribbean food and ultra-slushy drinks, flaunts bright parrot colors and high, cabana-like ceilings. The massive deck is a magnet for Raleigh's easygoing singles. Score a table by the steel drum band--or, in cooler weather, sip summery cocktails by the outdoor fireplace.
-Abyssinia Simple decor and dim lighting greet diners at this Ethiopian restaurant (editor's note: Yes, it's funny; no, they don't serve UN rations), but what the restaurant lacks in ambiance it makes up for in exotic flavor. Guests share large platters of chicken doro wat and yebeg alicha (lamb braised slowly in turmeric sauce) with spongy bread for dipping.
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